Communicate, and Build. That’s the ticket. In a world that’s fast moving, fast thinking, and quick on the uptake, who has time to make decisions and think? You will, if you want to find yourself in happy and thriving relationships at work, in your circle of peers, and with your significant other, your kids, and even the In-laws.
Every encounter, and every interaction, is based on some kind of relationship building platform, from meeting someone, to getting to know them, to exhibiting character traits like honesty, humility, trust, and having a genuine interest in the other person, their goals ,and their happiness. That’s relationship building. And it’s accomplished by Communicating.
How??? The 3 pillars of Effective Communication are:
Listen, more than you talk. That means zip it. As social beings, our validity is based in being acknowledged and heard. Having an open, understanding, appreciative ear tells the other person you are listening, hearing them, and validating them.
Engage in conflictual situations or conversations without your ego. It’s evil, self-centred, and only wants immediate, selfish gratification. Park it outside or box it up. Leading with your ego will always land you in unfavourable territory. Having effective communication is part of being an effective arguer. Enter into such situations with kindness and understanding, not with your back up. It’s a sure-fire way to put the other person in defence mode and in lock down. You’ll get nowhere fast. Here again, acknowledgment and validation is King. Or Queen. When you start a conversation or objection with an acknowledement or a positive, you’re opening things up to be favourable, kind and inviting.
Attitude. Calm wins the day. We’ve heard this a thousand times, and it’s true. If we want to elicit certain responses, part of that means we have to set and keep ‘the tone’. That also means, leading by example. Another person’s flared emotions do not give you license to flare up your own. These kinds of situations beg for a leader, someone who can deflect the hot, the anger, and the upset, and keeps things neutral, or at least not heated. The best outcomes will come from a semblance of calm and rational, and will help the other person to also keep their cool, so a win-win outcome is available for all involved.
These skills are easy to implement, but only when you’re ready. Successful and happy relationships start with You. Ready?
Lauren Millman, at www.LaurenMillman.com, is a Toronto Certified Coach Practitioner, and a recognized and highly sought-after leader in her field , specializing in Relationship & Communication, Marriage Intervention, Separation, Divorce, Dating Strategy, Anxiety, Anger Management, Conflict Resolution, Self-Esteem, Parenting, and Aspergers Support. Lauren is also an International Best Selling Author, and contributes monthly to many E-publications world-wide, including The Canadian Association of Marketing Professionals (C.A.M.P.), Brazenwoman, The Big Book of Beauty, and Pink and Blue.
Lauren offers Coaching and Counseling to men and women in Canada, the U.S., and Internationally, in-person and by phone, and is currently acceptingnew clients. If you’d like to become a client, or learn more Relationship and Communication Strategies, Tips, and Techniques, please connect with Lauren at 416.576.5881, or by email, atlauren@laurenmillman.com.
Lauren Millman,
Relationship Coach & Communication Specialist
B.A. Psych. ccp, ccf, acc, aic ,
International Best Selling Author
Separation/Divorce, Dating, Conflict Resolution,
Anger Management, Anxiety, Depression,
Self-Esteem, Lifestyle, Parenting
Individuals, Couples, Families
Direct Private line: 416-576-5881
Offices in Toronto and York Region
Accepting NEW Clients
Connect with me:
E: lauren@laurenmillman.com
L: LaurenMillman/Linked-In.com
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