Do you feel stuck like you are caught in a rut?
Tired of doing the same thing over and over and yet still not getting anywhere?
You could be sabotaging your own happiness and not realize it.
If what you have been doing to move your life forward is keeping you stuck then something is not working. It is worth taking a closer look and making some adjustments so you can show up differently for yourself.
Building Awareness Around Self-Sabotage
Over the last 6 months we have been raising the level of awareness around self-sabotage. In our MasterClass and Podcast Series on What She Said Talk Show, we have been discussing how as saboteurs we get in our own way, be it consciously or unconsciously, and the effects of self-sabotage on our well-being.
We usually don’t set out intentionally to sabotage ourselves, but yet we find ourselves doing it. For some of us we do it more than we actually realize.
You can often get in your own way by engaging in thought and behavioral patterns that hold you back and prevent you from doing what you want to do.
The reasons why we sometimes become a roadblock to our own hopes and dreams can vary. From lacking self-esteem to holding onto self-defeating beliefs such as not deserving the happiness we want to experience.
Ways You Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage can present itself in many ways in your life. Although challenging to detect because it is often deeply rooted, here are some patterns to look out for:
- You don’t believe you deserve what you want most.
- You want to change things for yourself but keep making the same choices that keep you exactly where you are.
- You constantly sacrifice your own needs for those of others.
- You procrastinate.
- You indulge in negative self-talk.
- You excessively worry.
- You doubt your own abilities and undervalue your skills, experience and performance.
- You date people who are not aligned with your core values.
If any of these patterns resonate with you, now is the time to begin making these empowering shifts to help get you out of that rut:
1. Commit To Changing Yourself First
You and you alone have the power to leverage the change you want to see in your life. A healthier approach to experiencing the change you truly want should end at trying to change others and begin with changing yourself first.
For the change to be long-lasting, you must commit yourself to the process. This is more than just knowing that you need to change but actually committing yourself wholeheartedly to doing it for your own betterment.
When you make such a commitment, it serves as an anchor, helping to ground you throughout your journey. Your “Why” does matter. When faced with challenges, it helps you to connect back to your heart-centered reason for wanting things to change in the first place.
2. Don’t Get Stuck In Your Headspace
We get stuck in our heads all the time. Some of us, more frequently than others with worry, stress, obsessive thinking, inner dialogue, negative thoughts, etc. The issue is not so much how much time you spend in your headspace but what is occupying your mind.
Use your mental energy wisely. Spend time reflecting on your thoughts and those behavioral patterns that are getting in the way of your own success.
Understanding what is keeping you stuck in a rut will help you to get out of it that much quicker. Being able to recognize your roadblocks makes it easier to also see when and where you are sabotaging yourself.
3. Confront The Fears Holding You Back
When fear shows up, as difficult as it is resist the urge to suppress or ignore it. Instead acknowledge the fear you are feeling and try to identify what is causing it to surface. Give yourself some space to be brutally honest with yourself.
As you unpack what is the root cause of your fear, you are stripping the power away from it. The power to paralyze you and keep you stuck. So when you work to address your fears at your own pace, stay present at that moment. Do not allow the fear of something that has not yet happened to prevent you from moving forward.
Fears can be triggered by many factors, some internal or external. Understanding what these are is important in helping you work through them. One of the ways to confront your fear is to examine it for proof and determine whether it is based in reality.
Some fears can be resolved by simply taking direct action.
4. Reduce Your Mental Clutter
We all have the propensity to accumulate mental clutter. As your mind gets cluttered with negative thoughts, irrelevant information and emotional or mental baggage from past experiences it makes it difficult for you to concentrate or even make the decisions you need to.
Recognize the thought patterns that have been fueling your self-defeating behaviors like negative self-talk, procrastination, self-criticism or comparing yourself to others. Work to adopt more empowering ones for yourself.
Clearing the mess in your mind helps you to think more clearly and enjoy your relationships more. Dealing with your mental clutter will also enable you to take the steps you need to get out of that rut.
5. Examine Your Inner Circle
You have probably heard it said countless times “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future”, meaning we are strongly influenced by those around us. I am of the mind that your inner circle is your power circle. It is important to examine the people you spend most of your time with.
Assess whether they are aligned with your values and what you want for your life. Constantly surrounding yourself with negative naysayers will not only affect your mood but begin to influence your attitudes about yourself, your situation and others. The negativity could be keeping you stuck.
Being intentional with whom you spend most of your time with can prove beneficial to your mental wellness and overall well-being. Take a closer look at how these relationships have impacted your life over time.
Your inner circle may not be large and that is okay but it should be made up of individuals whom you trust and who lovingly support you.
6. Declutter Your Life From Time-Wasters
We can all do with some decluttering in our lives to make room for more of what we want to experience. If you are not yet living your best life, a great place to start is with eliminating time-wasters.
Declutter your schedule from activities that add little to no value to your life, undermine your well-being or hold you back from what you want to achieve. Instead give your time and energy to those things that matter most to you.
Evaluate all of your commitments. Give yourself permission to say NO to the things that are not serving you well and be good with it. Invest your time doing those things that bring you closer to your goals.
Create healthier boundaries around your time and energy and honor yourself in the choices you make. Consider whether you are spending most of your time with what will move your life forward or in more of the same things that have kept you stuck.
7. Get Connected With Much Needed Support
Change can be a big ask for most of us but not as difficult as we think when we have the right support.
You don’t have to go at it alone.
Many successful people have the support of others around them to help encourage them to pursue their dreams and challenge them to become their best selves. When making changes in your life it is important to connect with someone you can trust and who can hold you accountable as you work through the process of change.
We are here to journey with you!
As Cognitive Behavioral Coaches, we have supported others like yourself to make the empowering shifts needed to get unstuck and out of their own way. We invite you to participate in our Get Unstuck Program. As you do, you will not only learn how to shift out of limiting beliefs and into liberating truths, but stop the self-sabotage. You will break free from what’s been holding you back and preventing you from experiencing the results you want to have.
You can go from completely feeling stuck to more empowered so you can take actionable steps that will help you move your life forward!
Don’t forget to join us on What She Said Talk Show, for our MasterClass Series where we empower and encourage women like yourself to make shifts to stop the self-sabotage, get unstuck and become unstoppable.
Also join our Facebook Group to participate in our Sacred Space 21-Day Challenge to help prepare your mindset for the remainder of 2022.
Do you feel stuck in a rut? Have you lost your motivation? Do you feel burnt out?
If so, please contact The Sacred Space Coaching & Consulting and one of our professional life coaches would be happy to speak with you.
DISCLAIMER: The information provided on this blog/site is intended for your general knowledge only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment for specific medical conditions. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider, who should also be consulted with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition.